Get your best claymore mine, put on some Shania Twain, and prepare to get into it - there's nowhere to run. But whatever you do, don't pull the fire alarm. Join expert grudge-holders Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 4 of Season 7, "Leslie and Ron". (NOTE: As of yet, we have no further news about Constantine and Harvey - they are still stuck in the future, trying to find their way back, occasionally slipping us little pieces of information through the stargate. Man, this would make for a great TV show.)
This week Mark and Allen break down the Episode where we learn Craig is now head of the Parks department! Leslie and Ron have been trapped together by the gang in their old stomping grounds, the Parks Department. The gang refuses to let them out until [a] they work out their differences, or [b] 8:00 am the next morning is here. Neither wants to be alone with the other for 10 hours, but are unable to escape. Leslie proposes they simply wait a few minutes, turn on the baby monitor Ben left for them, LIE to him that they made up, and wait for Ben to come release them. Unfortunately, the two cannot agree on what their fake apology should sound like, and Leslie ends up smashing the baby monitor on the ground, destroying their only means of an early exit. Ron chooses to sit in silence while Leslie pesters him to get him to talk. He eventually can't take any more of Leslie's nonsense, and agrees to speak with her for three minutes. Leslie uses a whiteboard to draw a timeline including a number of key events that may have contributed to the demise of her friendship with Ron, culminating in the infamous "Morningstar" incident. It is revealed that Morningstar was a luxury apartment complex built by Ron's company, positioned adjacent to Leslie's park, Pawnee Commons. Leslie was furious with Ron for not telling her in advance about the plans, especially since it included the removal of many surrounding houses, including Ann's old house. Ron tells Leslie, "that's not the whole story" ... but then Leslie's three minutes is up, Ron goes into his old office, closes the door. As a result of Ron's unwillingness to converse, Leslie begins quizzing him directly outside his office. Ron eventually has enough and commits to using excessive measures to escape. He finds his old "partially defused" claymore mine that Leslie gave him 10 years ago, but is disappointed to discover that what he always thought was an actual landmine was merely a gimmick that Leslie bought as an anniversary gift for being Parks Director for five years—she had bought the empty shell online and filled it with balloons and confetti. A couple of hours go by, and as Leslie is searching through documents, she stumbles across something very interesting ... her original Parks Department job application, including a written description of Ron's very first impressions of her. As always, we tackle the tough questions, such as ... What was Ron's REAL first impression of Leslie? Can Ron forgive Leslie for the fake claymore mine? Is there a way Leslie and Ron can escape before 8am? Why did Ron really leave the Parks Department? Will Leslie and Ron ever be friends again? Loyal podcast viewers, we triple-dog-dare you to not get emotional during this episode. You'd have to be a freakin robot to not cry at this one. (NOTE: No offensive, Robonstantine.) Many thanks to our amazing sponsor, the often imitated but never duplicated "JJ's Diner".